Why mindfulness is your superpower as a mum

Hi mama,

I’m sure you’ve heard of mindfulness. The word is everywhere now and it seems that everyone is doing it.

What is mindfulness?

One of my favourite definition is by a well-known researcher and ‘guru’ of this subject, Jon Kabat-Zinn:

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”

John Kabat-Zinn’s definition is short and sweet, although a bit dry.

The best quote I’ve seen on this subject is from the Dalai Lama himself. He was asked what surprised him the most, and he said:

“Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived.”

Motherhood and mindfulness 

As mothers, we have the privilege of spending time with the most present focused human beings – our babies and children.

Have you noticed how they are so immersed in the moment? When was the last time you watched your babies and young children play? They do not look at the clock and think about all the things they have to do!

As children grow older they are conditioned by adults to start thinking about the future, and the past.

Toddlers and preschoolers don’t understand the concept of ‘when I grow up’, and being asked the question of “What do you want to do when you grow up?” must be really confusing to them.

All they have is right here, right now but they are being taught by adults to start thinking about the past and the future.

What’s so bad about thinking about the past and future?

Now to be clear, there is nothing wrong with thinking about the past and future. There is a very important reason why everyone’s brain is wired to think about the past and the future – it enables survival of the human species.

If our mama ancestors did not think about past mistakes (e.g. don’t touch that scorpion again!) or think about the future (e.g. planting crops for future harvest) we wouldn’t be here today.

Our brains are wired for survival which means that it is always honing in any kind of threats to us and our children.

What is problematic is the amount of time we, as modern mums spend time in the past or in the future, thinking about threats that have already passed, or non-existent ones that have yet or will not happen.

This is where mindfulness practice comes in. We are disrupting the brain’s habitual state of thinking about the future or the past. The science of mindfulness is growing and there is a lot of evidence now that everyone can benefit by engaging in daily practice.

Mindfulness practice has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep, memory and encourage healthy eating.

Now, I don’t know any mums who do not want to be less stressed, have better memories, sleep and eat better!

How to build a sustainable mindfulness habit 

I have been practising some form of mindfulness for the last few years, and have taught mindfulness practice with my clients. For some reason, though, I have not been able to sustain a daily mindful practice until the last few years when I challenged myself to do a mini habit of practising 1 minute of mindfulness everyday.

Most days I’ve only managed to do 3 to 5 minutes. I don’t think my memory is any better or that I am eating healthier.

I do notice, however, that I am not as stressed, especially in the face of two energetic preschoolers.

If I practice some form of mindfulness in the morning, I feel that I can cope better with whatever the day throws at me.

And even if everything goes pear shape, a daily mindfulness practice reminds me to go back to the basics- just breathe!